Hi friend,
A partner cannot be your everything.
No matter how much they love you, they will fail if you expect them to meet your needs 100% of the time.
Many people test their potential partners to their breaking point and then feel devastated when the relationship ends, and then they think: "They just didn't want to do the work"…
And sometimes, it's true. Some people simply have no interest in going deep and embarking on the spiritual journey of relationship. Their priorities might be intimacy, comfort, and fun, and the idea that love takes work just isn't in their framework yet.
It hurts when that's the reality. But we cannot force anyone to follow our path.
Sometimes though, as we get clearer about who we are and what we want, we begin testing people in unfair ways. Judging them for not being perfect, not being present all the time, not responding how we'd like, or simply for having needs of their own.
The reality is that sometimes your needs won't get met, because no one is perfect. It's not realistic to make one person responsible for being your everything.
When we've been hurt before, it makes sense that we become hyper-vigilant and critical. But if we truly want a Conscious Relationship, we have to lead from our hearts rather than live in the past. We have to self-soothe, honour another person's experience, and take a stand for love even when they aren't perfect.
It takes real maturity from both people to build something like this. Where we choose each other even when we don't get our way. Where we feel whole as individuals who share a path rather than half a person waiting to be completed. 💛
Inside Today’s Newsletter:
🌙 New Moon in Taurus Report: Ground Your Life in What Matters
✨ A Practice + Journaling Prompts: For softening into love without losing yourself
🌙 Check out our recent astrology report:
🌿 This Weeks Reflection
What would change in your relationship if you stopped expecting your partner to be your everything, and started trusting yourself to meet some of those needs?
✨ Practice for the Week: Returning to Wholeness
Set aside 15-20 minutes in a quiet space where you won't be interrupted. You can do this seated, lying down, or standing.
Step 1: Arrive in your body (2-3 minutes)
Close your eyes and take three slow, deep breaths. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Feel your feet on the ground, your seat in the chair, or your back on the floor.
Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Notice the rise and fall of your breath beneath your palms. Let yourself land here, in this moment, in this body.
Step 2: Acknowledge what you've been carrying (3-4 minutes)
Bring to mind a recent moment when you felt disappointed by someone you love. Maybe they didn't respond the way you wanted, didn't show up how you needed, or didn't meet you in the way you hoped.
Notice where this lives in your body. Is there tightness in your chest? A clench in your jaw? A heaviness in your belly?
Breathe into that place. Don't try to fix it or push it away. Simply place your hand there and offer it your presence.
Ask yourself softly: "What was I really hoping for in that moment? What did I want them to give me?"
Let the answer come up without judgment.
Step 3: Meet your inner-child (4-5 minutes)
Imagine the version of you who was holding that hope. She might be younger than you are now. She might be very small.
Picture her sitting in front of you. Look into her eyes.
Ask her: "What do you need right now that you've been waiting for someone else to give you?"
Listen. She might say she wants to feel chosen. She might want to feel safe. She might want to know she's enough.
Place both hands on your heart. Breathe into her. Let her know: "I see you. I'm here. I can offer you this now."
Stay with her for as long as feels right.
Step 4: Return to wholeness (3-4 minutes)
Slowly bring your awareness back to your whole body. Feel your fingers and toes. Roll your shoulders. Gently move your neck side to side.
Stand up if you feel called to, and place both feet firmly on the ground. Feel the support of the earth beneath you.
Take a few moments to close the practice in a way that feels supportive to you.
Step 5: Integration (2-3 minutes)
Find your journal and write down anything that came up. What did your inner-child share? What did you feel in your body? What is one small way you can offer yourself the love you've been waiting for this week?
Journal Prompts
Where in my current or past relationships have I expected my partner to be my everything? What needs was I asking them to meet that might actually be mine to tend to?
Can I remember a time I tested a partner unfairly? What was I really longing for underneath that test?
Where am I living in the past and bringing old hurts into my present relationship? What would it look like to lead from my heart in this moment instead?
What does self-soothing look like for me? When I'm activated or hurt, what are the practices, people, and rituals that help me return to my center?
Where am I waiting to be completed by another person? What part of me knows I am already whole, and what would it feel like to live from that wholeness?
As you move through your week, I invite you to notice where you might be holding someone close to you to an impossible standard.
Where are you waiting for them to read your mind, anticipate your every need, or show up in a way that mirrors exactly how you would?
This isn't about lowering your standards or accepting less than you deserve. It's about softening into the truth that love asks us to keep choosing each other through our imperfections.
Mature love is built in the small moments. In the breath we take before we react. In the choice to ask a question instead of make an assumption. In our willingness to tend to our own heart so we can stay open to another's.
You are whole, just as you are. And so are they.
May you find moments of grace this week. May you self-soothe when you need to, and may you also let yourself be loved in the ways that are available to you right now.
Sending you love,
Shay
P.S. If this resonated and you're ready to explore The Path of Conscious Love, our relationship toolkit was made for exactly this. Two complete programs for the price of one, designed to help you understand your patterns, meet your triggers with clarity, communicate without losing yourself, and build real intimacy and trust (whether you're single or partnered). You'll have lifetime access, so you can move through it at your own pace. Get this special offer here.