Hi friend,
The truth is, if you have to ask where you stand with them, deep down you already know they aren’t choosing you.
If you look back at your relationships and friendships, you’ll notice a pattern. The happiest connections were clear from the start. No guessing where you stood. You didn’t need to ask for clarity, because it was obvious.
If there’s tension, distance, uncertainty, or anxiety… If you feel like you’re always pursuing, reaching out, or seeking reassurance… or you hold yourself back because you don’t want to be “too much” and risk losing them… this isn’t love, it’s self abandonment.
Deep down it’s usually clear whether we’re in a mutual relationship or a one-sided one. If they wanted to spend more time with you, they would. If you’re a priority, you’ll know it. If you’re not, you’ll feel that too. Pay attention to the energy dynamics.
Yes, anxious attachment patterns can arise even in a healthy relationship, but you won’t have to hide your experience or suffer alone. You’ll be met with love and repair when something feels off. If someone wants to be with you, they’ll say so. No guesswork.
In a relationship where the desire for connection and togetherness is mutual, there’s space for everyone. You won’t have to walk on eggshells or bend yourself to make it work.
It may feel gut-wrenching to walk away from someone who isn’t choosing you, but there’s nothing more painful than abandoning yourself. Get out of their waiting room. No more dumpster diving for love.
Ask yourself: how does chasing unavailable love keep me from experiencing the kind of intimacy I truly want?
Inside this week’s newsletter, you’ll find:
🌑 Pisces New Moon Report
On March 18, 2026, we’ll experience a New Moon in Pisces closing out eclipse season with a quieter, reflective energy after recent intensity. This lunation invites you to soften control, turn inward, and listen to intuition, dreams, and subtle feelings that may have been drowned out. It can feel like an emotional exhale or the quiet recognition that a chapter has ended, even if the next one isn’t clear yet.
💗 Somatic Practice: Returning Your Energy to Yourself
A gentle, body based practice designed to help you come back to yourself when your energy has been pulled into uncertainty, waiting, or overextending for connection. This exploration invites you to slow down and reconnect with your body.
🔥 What's New at Rising Woman:
Looking to grow a soul-led business or personal brand, but feeling stuck, unsure where to begin, or like traditional marketing strategies don’t resonate?
I invite you to explore joining the SOMA Business Mastermind, my year-long mentorship for soul-led entrepreneurs, healers, and creatives who are ready to grow their visibility, impact, and income in a way that feels aligned.
Applications for the 2026 cohort are now open…
Inside SOMA, we combine personalized business strategy with nervous system support so you can build a business that is sustainable, embodied, and truly your own.
Together, we spend the year developing your offerings and growing your business from the inside out. Real growth takes time, integration, and the right support.
You will not just learn what to do. You will be supported through actually doing it. With guidance to implement, regulate your nervous system through visibility and expansion, and create success that feels safe to receive and sustain.
If you are ready to grow in a way that is true to you…
👉 [Apply now] and if accepted, you’ll be invited to a 1:1 conversation with me to ensure it is a mutual fit before deciding to join.
🪐 Introducing the Mystic app
Inside the Mystic App, you get access to:
Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Horoscopes
Your Personal Birth Chart Reading
Compatibility Reports for Love and Relationships
Your Astrocartography Map (where your soul thrives on Earth)
Your Soul Timeline and Life Cycles
A Personalized Astro Calendar for your current transits
🌙 Check out our recent astrology report:
🌿 This Weeks Reflection
The moment you stop abandoning yourself to keep someone, you make space for the love that can actually meet you.
✨ Practice for the Week: Returning Your Energy to Yourself
This practice is designed to help you step out of chasing, waiting, or overextending and come back into your own body, needs, and self respect.
1. Arrive in your body
Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable. Place one hand on your heart and one on your lower belly. Close your eyes if that feels okay. Take slow, steady breaths, letting your exhale be slightly longer than your inhale. Feel the weight of your body supported by the surface beneath you.
Gently say to yourself (in your mind or out loud):
I am here. I am with myself.
2. Notice where your energy is pulled
Bring to mind the person or situation where you feel uncertainty, chasing, or emotional strain. Notice what happens in your body. Where do you feel activation, tightness, heaviness, or emptiness?
Without analyzing, simply observe:
— Where do I feel this most strongly?
— Does it feel contracted, buzzing, hollow, hot, cold, numb?
Place a hand on that area if it feels supportive. Let your breath move there.
3. Acknowledge the part that is reaching
Sense the part of you that wants connection, reassurance, or closeness. This is not a problem to fix. It is a part trying to protect you or get a need met.
Silently offer:
I see how much you want to be loved.
Thank you for trying to help me.
Notice if anything softens when this part is met rather than judged.
4. Call your energy back
Imagine your energy extending outward toward this person like threads, cords, or beams of attention. You do not need to cut them aggressively. Simply begin to gather them back.
With each exhale, visualize your energy gently returning to your body, especially into your heart, belly, pelvis, and spine. You might imagine warm light or breath filling you from the inside.
You can repeat:
I bring my energy back to myself.
I belong to me.
Feel your physical boundaries. Notice the outline of your skin. Sense your back, your seat, your feet.
5. Anchor into self support
Wrap your arms around yourself in a gentle hug, or place both hands over your heart. Apply a comforting pressure that feels grounding.
Ask internally:
What do I need right now to feel supported?
Listen for something simple: water, rest, movement, fresh air, reaching out to a safe person, or space.
6. Close with self commitment
Take one deeper breath. Feel your body from head to toe.
Offer yourself a quiet promise:
I will not abandon myself to be loved.
I choose to stay with me.
When you’re ready, open your eyes slowly and reorient to the room.
This practice can be repeated anytime you notice yourself spiraling into overthinking, waiting, checking your phone, or feeling consumed by someone else’s availability. Each time you return to yourself, you strengthen the muscle of self trust and inner safety.
Journaling Prompts
Where in my life do I feel confused, anxious, or uncertain about where I stand with someone? What is my body telling me about this connection?
In what ways have I been waiting, chasing, or overextending myself to maintain a relationship or friendship?
How do I tend to abandon myself in relationships (silencing needs, minimizing feelings, overgiving, staying quiet to avoid conflict)?
When have I experienced relationships that felt clear, mutual, and easy from the start? What was different about those dynamics?
Where might I be ignoring reality because I’m attached to potential, history, or hope?
If I fully accepted that this person cannot meet me in the way I want, what feelings would surface? What would I need to grieve?
What would choosing myself look like in concrete actions this week?
If I treated myself as someone deeply worthy of clear, mutual love, what decisions would I make differently today?
Choosing yourself may feel unfamiliar, even terrifying at first, especially if you’re used to earning love through overgiving. Real love does not require you to shrink, chase, or betray your own needs to keep it alive.
Grieve what you hoped this could be. Honor the part of you that wanted it to work. Then gently turn your energy back toward the life and relationships that can actually receive you.
You are not too much. You are not hard to love. You are meant for someone who is capable of choosing you. Until then, be the one who does.
Love,
Shay
P.S. The real shift in love happens when you stop trying to fix or win over the other person and begin returning to yourself. This is exactly why I wrote Becoming the One.
In this book, I guide you through understanding your attachment patterns, tending to your nervous system, and breaking the cycle of self abandonment, so you can approach love from wholeness rather than fear.
If you’re ready to come home to yourself and transform your relationships, you can get your copy of Becoming the One here.