Hi friend,
When we take up a lot of space in a relationship through over giving and anxious tendencies, it can be easy to place the focus on the other person as avoidant or “not ready”.
And at the same time, there is an invitation to take ownership of the ways we may be participating in the pattern, leaving very little room for the other person to move toward us.
This is not to dismiss the painful reality of being stuck in an anxious-avoidant dance… but sometimes the way out is a little more nuanced than we think.
Energetically speaking it’s important to be mindful of how we are showing up and engaging in the dance.
Patterns of over giving and anxious grasping can take up a lot of space.
If we are longing for someone to come closer, the invitation is often to soften our grip and create space for them to meet us.
Yet when anxiety is present, we tend to do the opposite.
We chase, we grasp, we demand.
But what if, instead, you began to invite with your energy
staying anchored in yourself while allowing space for the other person to show up?
Some of you might be wondering, “but what if it doesn’t work?”
And my response is, what about chasing and avoiding is currently “working” for you?
What is there to lose by trying something different?
When we relax into trust and self-confidence, we can ask for what we want and embody our worth in a way that automatically communicates “I’m not here for games”.
People either show up or they don’t.
When we chase, we give our power away.
When we stay open while rooted in ourselves, we create space for what is truly aligned.
Stay true to you. 💗
I’ve included a practice & journaling prompts below to support you in coming back into your body, noticing where you may be holding on, and gently opening to a new way of showing up.
🔥 What's New at Rising Woman:
Applications for my 2026 SOMA Business Mastermind are open for a little while longer… we begin on April 23rd.
SOMA is an intimate space of soulful women that feels like a true sense of sisterhood, where you’re supported in building and growing your business alongside others on a similar path.
Inside, we focus on:
– Creating and refining your offers, messaging, and business model
– Building meaningful connections, collaborations, and referrals
– Learning aligned marketing strategies that are actually working now
You’ll also be supported through monthly somatic sessions to help you feel more comfortable being seen, share your work with confidence, and expand into new levels of visibility, income, and opportunity.
If you’ve been feeling the pull to grow something of your own, but find yourself unsure where to focus, second-guessing your direction, or not wanting to force strategies that don’t feel like you… this may be for you.
👉 [Apply now] and if accepted, you’ll be invited to a 1:1 conversation with me to ensure it is a mutual fit before deciding to join.
We begin April 23rd, so if it’s been on your mind, now is the time to apply.
🪐 Download the Mystic Astrology App
Inside Mystic, you get access to:
Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Horoscopes
Your Personal Birth Chart Reading
Compatibility Reports for Love and Relationships
Your Astrocartography Map (where your soul thrives on Earth)
Your Soul Timeline and Life Cycles
A Personalized Astro Calendar for your current transits
🌿 This Weeks Reflection
The more you come home to yourself, the clearer it becomes who is truly able to meet you there.
✨ Practice for the Week: Creating Space to Be Met
This is a practice to help you notice where you may be holding on, and explore what it feels like to soften while staying connected to yourself.
1. Arrive in your body
Find a comfortable seat or lie down.
Let your eyes close or soften your gaze.
Take a few slow, natural breaths.
Feel the support beneath you.
Notice where your body is making contact with the ground or chair.
2. Orient to sensation
Bring your awareness into your body.
Notice any areas that feel activated, tense, or gripping.
You might feel this in your chest, belly, jaw, or hands.
There’s nothing to change here, just notice.
3. Connect to the “grasping” energy
Gently bring to mind a recent moment where you felt yourself reaching, chasing, or wanting something from someone.
As you recall it, notice what happens in your body.
Where do you feel the urge to move toward, hold on, or tighten?
4. Bring in gentle touch
Place one hand on an area that feels activated, and one hand somewhere that feels more neutral or grounding.
Let your touch be soft and steady.
Feel the warmth and contact of your hands.
5. Soften, just a little
Without forcing anything, see if there is even 1-5% of softening available.
This might look like relaxing your jaw, easing your shoulders, or letting your belly expand with breath.
You are not letting go completely, just creating a bit more space.
6. Explore “inviting” instead of grasping
Now, imagine what it would feel like to stay rooted in yourself while allowing connection to come toward you.
Notice how your body responds to this shift.
Does anything open, settle, or change?
7. Close with reflection
Take a few breaths to notice what you’re feeling now.
You might ask yourself:
What did I notice when I softened?
What felt different about inviting instead of reaching?
When you’re ready, slowly bring your awareness back to the room.
Journal Prompts
Where in my relationships do I notice myself over giving or reaching for connection? What does that look like in my behavior?
What am I hoping to receive when I move toward someone in this way?
What emotions or sensations arise in my body when I feel the urge to chase or grasp?
What feels uncomfortable about giving space or loosening my grip?
If I were to soften my approach, what fears come up? What do I imagine might happen?
Where might I be taking responsibility for someone else’s role in the dynamic?
What would it look like to stay connected to myself while also desiring connection with another?
How does it feel in my body when I imagine inviting connection instead of pursuing it?
What does “being at home in myself” mean to me in the context of relationships?
What is one small, supportive shift I can experiment with the next time I notice this pattern?
As you move through the practice and journaling, just stay curious with yourself.
Notice what comes up when you soften your grip, even a little. Notice where it feels easy, and where it doesn’t.
There’s nothing you need to force here.
Sometimes the shift isn’t about doing more, it’s about relating to yourself in a different way.
Let this be a gentle place to come back to yourself, to your body, and to what feels the most supportive for you.
I’m really glad you’re here. 💕
Love,
Shay
P.S. Freedom From Relationship Anxiety is a 6-week journey designed to support you in moving out of anxious patterns and into a deeper sense of safety and self-trust in your relationships.
We gently work with the patterns that keep you overthinking, overgiving, or questioning where you stand… so connection can begin to feel steady, clear, and mutual. You can get started here. ✨