Hi friend,
You cannot love someone into emotional availability.
No matter how patient you are.
No matter how understanding you become.
No matter how much of yourself you give.
Avoidant partners aren’t cold-hearted or incapable of love.
But someone who is drowning in their own fears cannot save you.
The truth is, anxious and avoidant people share similar wounds, they just express them differently…
Fear of abandonment.
Fear of being unworthy of love.
Fear of losing themselves in the relationship.
Anxious types cope by chasing or testing. They outwardly express their emotions.
Avoidants cope by becoming islands. They go internal and suppress their emotions.
When it comes to healing our attachment wounds, many people believe we cannot heal until our avoidant partner changes first or becomes secure.
But the most powerful realization is that healing is an inside job.
You are the One you’ve been waiting for.
Nobody can save you but you.
And when you become the greatest protector of your own heart, your whole world will bloom.
The person who can’t show up for you while they are drowning in their own fear cannot save you.
Their withdrawal is an invitation to see the ways you’ve self-abandoned and come home to yourself.
And when you do, you will find:
Partners rise to the occasion and begin to heal with you.
Or they fall away and clear the path for someone who will.
🤍
Inside this week’s newsletter, you’ll find:
🌕 Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Virgo Report
This Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Virgo brings a powerful moment of clearing and refinement. It illuminates what feels misaligned, inviting you to reset your boundaries and return to what feels true. Eclipses create turning points, helping you release excess and step forward with greater clarity.
💗 Somatic Practice: Becoming Your Own Safe Place
A gentle, nervous system centered practice designed to help you reclaim your energy when fear of abandonment is activated. This exploration guides you back into your body, supporting you in staying present with your emotions rather than chasing reassurance.
📲 New On Instagram: Recent posts and reflections from the feed.
🔥 What's New at Rising Woman:
Applications for the 2026 SOMA Mastermind are now open. Apply here.
If you’re looking to build a soul-led business or personal brand but feel stuck, overwhelmed, or resistant to traditional marketing strategies, this is for you.
SOMA is a year-long business mastermind for healers, creatives, and soul-led entrepreneurs who want to grow their visibility, impact, and income… without abandoning their nervous system or becoming someone they’re not.
This is a high-touch mentorship container where we build your business from the inside out… blending personalized strategy, somatic rewiring for visibility and confidence, and deep support as you implement.
You won’t just learn what to do.
You’ll be supported while actually doing it.
You’ll expand your visibility without self-sabotage.
Increase your income without burning out.
And build success that feels aligned, sustainable, and safe to hold.
If you’re ready to grow your work in a way that honors who you are, Apply now.
If your application is accepted, you’ll be invited into a private 1:1 conversation with me to ensure it’s a mutual fit before making your final decision.
🪐 Introducing the Mystic app
Inside the Mystic App, you get access to:
Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Horoscopes
Your Personal Birth Chart Reading
Compatibility Reports for Love and Relationships
Your Astrocartography Map (where your soul thrives on Earth)
Your Soul Timeline and Life Cycles
A Personalized Astro Calendar for your current transits
🌙 Check out our recent astrology report:
🕊️ The Latest Rising Woman Posts:
🌿 This Weeks Reflection
The work is not getting them to stay. The work is learning to stay with yourself.
✨ Practice for the Week: Becoming Your Own Safe Place
Set aside 10 to 15 minutes.
1. Notice the Activation
Bring to mind a recent moment where you felt someone pull away. Notice what happens in your body.
Where do you feel it? Chest. Throat. Stomach. Jaw.
Place one hand there.
Say internally:
“This is the part of me that fears being left.”
Breathe slowly into that area.
2. Track the Urge
Now gently ask yourself:
When I feel this, what do I want to do?
Text them. Explain. Fix. Chase. Shut down. Pretend I do not care.
Notice the impulse in your body. Does it feel like leaning forward? Collapsing? Tightening?
Instead of acting on it, keep this experience company.
Feel what it is like to not move toward managing them.
3. Reclaim Your Energy
Imagine all the energy you have been directing toward understanding, fixing, or saving them.
Visualize that energy gently returning to your body.
See it coming back into your chest. Your belly. Your spine.
Let your shoulders drop.
Take a deeper breath.
Say internally:
“I choose to stay with myself.”
4. Create Safety From Within
Place one hand on your heart and one on your lower belly.
Let your body and nervous system feel that you are here.
What would feel the most supportive right now? When you get a response from your body, offer that to yourself: maying a self-hug, a few deep breaths, gentle self-touch.
Stay here for a few minutes.
Notice what shifts.
This practice helps interrupt the anxious loop of chasing and brings the body into a felt sense of self support.
It teaches the nervous system that uncertainty in love does not require self abandonment.
Journaling Prompts
Awareness
When my partner withdraws or pulls away, what stories immediately arise in me?
What do I tend to do in moments when I feel abandoned or uncertain in love?
In what ways do I try to earn reassurance or closeness?
Self Abandonment
Where in this dynamic have I been overriding my own needs?
What have I been tolerating that does not actually feel good to my nervous system?
How do I abandon myself in order to maintain connection?
Responsibility & Power
What would it look like to shift my focus from changing them to tending to myself?
How can I support my own nervous system when fear of abandonment surfaces?
What does choosing myself look like in practical terms right now?
Standards & Alignment
What does steady, emotionally available love feel like in my body?
Where am I confusing longing with true alignment?
If I fully trusted that I deserve consistency, what would I stop accepting?
Integration
What does “coming home to myself” mean in this season of my life?
What boundaries would protect my heart without closing it?
Who do I become when I am no longer trying to save someone else?
You deserve a love that feels safe and steady.
If someone can’t meet you right now it doesn’t mean you are too much. It doesn’t mean you are unworthy. It means they are working through their own fear.
Let this be the moment you come back to yourself. Take your energy out of fixing and proving and place it back into your own heart.
When you choose yourself, love begins to feel different.
This is where healing lives.
Love,
Shay
P.S. This is exactly why I wrote Becoming the One. Because the real shift in love happens when you stop trying to fix the other person and start returning to yourself.
In this book, I walk you through understanding your attachment patterns, tending to your nervous system, and ending the cycle of self abandonment, so you can show up to love from wholeness instead of fear.
If you’re ready to come home to yourself in your relationships, you can get your copy of Becoming the One here.