Hi friend,
Building an unbreakable bond in partnership asks that both people gently lay down their swords and meet the work of healing old wounds as a team.
It’s not enough to notice our partner spiraling and think, “That’s your wound, not my problem.”
It’s not enough to say, “I see this isn’t about me, I’ll give you space.”
In a conscious partnership, we go a step further. We soften. We lean in. We ask, “I see that this is your wound. How can I love you through this?”
Because when we choose each other, we choose to become allies in healing. We choose to grow side by side. We choose to meet life knowing that both of our histories will come to the table… our patterns, our ‘protectors’, our tender unmet needs.
We all choose partners who mirror 🪞 what we learned in our first family. The emotional climate, how conflict felt, our beliefs about ourselves, and whether it felt safe to trust. All of this is encoded in our nervous system early on.
As we try to build lasting love as adults, many of us face chapter after chapter of disappointment, searching for “The One” who will finally love us in all the ways we missed out on.
No one can fill the shoes of the absent love of a parent. But we can choose to co-create together, with the awareness that our wounds walk with us.
The most loving thing we could ever do is to actively work together to write a new script. One where your wounds become openings for deeper understanding and connection, and where knowing your partner’s story brings more tenderness and presence into the relationship.
This kind of love takes patience. It takes courage. And it takes two people willing to see their own patterns clearly and stay in the work long enough for real change to take root.
And it’s more than possible. This awareness and courage can lay the foundation for love that lasts.
Inside this week’s newsletter, you’ll find:
🎙️ YouTube Interview: Preparing for Conscious Love and Dating Apps with Yung Pueblo
Join me and Diego as we explore what it means to prepare for conscious love in today’s world and the realities of modern dating apps.
💗 Somatic Practice: Softening the Armor in Love
A slow, grounding practice that helps you soften the armor you bring into love. This practice guides you into your body, invites you to meet the old wounds that rise in partnership, and supports you in relating from your heart.
📲 New On Instagram: Recent posts and reflections from the feed.
🔥 What's New at Rising Woman:
I’m hosting a free workshop on December 1st for anyone who is ready to put their gifts into the world in a bigger, more aligned way. Save your spot here.
Whether you’re a soul-led entrepreneur, healer, or creative who’s struggled to shape your work into a cohesive offer that feels true to you…
Or you simply feel called to do meaningful work but don’t yet know what your “thing” is… this workshop is for you.
It’s called The Soulful Offer, and inside, I’ll walk you through my 5-part framework for creating an offer that’s authentic to who you are, rooted in your gifts, and deeply resonant for the people you’re meant to serve.
Perfect if you’ve ever felt scattered, multi-passionate, or unsure how to translate the depth of your work into something others can understand (and say yes to).
Be sure to join live so you can ask your questions 🙂 Save your seat for The Soulful Offer Workshop.
🎙️ Latest YouTube Interview with Yung Pueblo
🕊️ The Latest Rising Woman Posts:
🌿 This Weeks Reflection
In conscious partnership, our wounds aren’t obstacles. They’re invitations to love each other more deeply.
✨ Practice for the Week: Softening the Armor in Love
This practice helps you soften the ‘protective parts’ that rise in partnership, connect with your own early imprints, and feel into the embodied experience of choosing to co-create a new script with your partner.
1. Settle into Your Body
Find a comfortable seat or lie down. Let your spine lengthen and your shoulders soften.
Take three slow breaths, letting each one land a little deeper in your belly.
Feel the weight of your body being held.
2. Lay Down Your “Inner Sword”
Bring one hand to your heart and one to your lower belly.
Imagine the part of you that picks up a sword in relationship, the one that gets defensive, pulls away, or shuts down.
You don’t need to change anything. Just sense the presence of this part.
Ask gently:
“What are you protecting?”
See what you notice in your body.
There may be tightness, warmth, a flutter, or a slight bracing.
Simply witness it.
When you’re ready, imagine placing this “sword” down to the side.
Not abandoning it. Just giving your body a small taste of what softening feels like.
3. Meet the Younger Part of You
Bring your attention to the place in your body that feels the most tender or activated.
Ask softly:
“What did I learn about love in my first family?”
“What did my body learn about safety, trust, and conflict?”
You’re not analyzing, just listening and noticing.
Let any sensations, images, or memories move through you without forcing meaning.
Offer this younger part warmth from your hands.
Let your breath anchor you back into the present moment.
4. Sense the Mirror of Partnership
Picture your partner or a past partner.
Notice where your body responds, chest, throat, belly, jaw.
Ask inside:
“What do they mirror in me?”
“What old expectation or wound do I bring to them?”
Stay connected to your breath as you explore this.
If your chest tightens, breathe into it.
If your body softens, allow it.
5. Practice Becoming an Ally
Place one hand over your heart again.
Whisper inside:
“I see that this is my wound.”
Then:
“How can I love myself through this?”
Let the question settle into your tissues.
6. Co-Creating a New Script
Bring both hands open and relaxed on your lap, palms up.
Feel into the possibility that real love is a shared path.
Two people carrying both their wounds and their wisdom.
Two nervous systems learning new rhythms together.
Ask your body quietly:
“What small shift in me would support this relationship today?”
Let whatever arises be enough: a breath, a softening, a boundary, a pause, a tenderness.
7. Seal the Practice
Take one final, spacious breath.
Place your palms gently over your heart and belly again.
Allow a few moments of integration.
Journaling Prompts
1. Your Early Imprints
What did I learn about love, conflict, and emotional safety in my first family?
What beliefs about myself or about being loved still live in my body today?
Where do I notice those early lessons showing up in my current (or past) relationships?
2. The Mirror of Partnership
In what ways does my partner reflect old wounds or familiar emotional climates back to me?
Where do I see myself reacting from younger parts of me rather than my adult self?
When I feel triggered, what is the deeper need beneath the reaction?
3. Becoming an Ally to My Partner
What do I know about my partner’s history that helps me understand their wounds with tenderness?
Where do I notice myself pulling away instead of leaning in?
How can I show love in a way that supports my partner when they’re in their pain?
4. Naming Your Own Patterns
What defenses or adaptations do I bring into moments of conflict or vulnerability?
How do these patterns try to protect me?
What might shift if I approached these moments with more softness or curiosity?
5. Co-Creating a New Script
What does a healthier, more conscious script in my relationship look like?
What shared intentions would help us grow together, rather than in parallel or at odds?
What small, doable step can I take this week to contribute to the relationship we’re building?
6. Honoring the Time it Takes
Where do I rush healing or expect immediate change?
What would it feel like to trust the pace of this process?
How can I bring more patience, compassion, or steadiness into the way I show up for love?
As you move into your day, remember that every relationship holds two nervous systems, two histories, and two sets of adaptations doing their best to protect what once felt vulnerable. None of this is simple work. And yet, it’s the heart of building love that can actually last.
When both partners begin to understand their own patterns, blocks, and the wounds that still shape the way they show up, something softens. You’re no longer fighting old battles alone… you’re learning how to meet them together, with awareness and a shared desire to stay connected.
May you keep choosing that path with an open heart and courage. 💗
Love,
Shay
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